Turmoil

Turmoil ~ a state of great commotion, confusion, or disturbance; tumult; agitation; disquiet

I began this blog earlier today with the title 'If you love someone, let them go'.  I will have to write that one another day.  The word that keeps coming to me today (for a while actually) is Turmoil.  This is the state I am in and I feel frayed.  There are so many things going on in my life right now.  I am experiencing so much at one time.  For a long time I felt stagnant... as though I were waiting.  I decided to take action and put things in motion.  Boy, did I ever!  There is major change occurring in my life right now and all I can do is hope that I make the right choices.  It is sometimes difficult to distinguish between fear, emotion, intuition and instinct.  I am at a crossroads and I have to choose the best path.  I have to write my next chapter.  The thing about it is that this is not just my life.  My choices will affect those I love the most.  However, I have been told that "if you're okay, they're okay".  


I have moments of complete contentment, but they don't last long.  They are beautiful moments when all feels right with the world and I feel at peace.  I cherish those moments.  They bring me an idea of what the future has in store for me.  I will get to a place where I feel that way all the time.   


Sometimes transition is difficult.  I must follow my True North and trust that I will be guided through this with love.  Some days, my heart aches so much that all I can do is cry.  Some days, I feel as though I have so much love to give.  Other days, I feel as though I might explode.  I feel like I am ready to shine.  I have to cast away the things that have clouded my vision and see the truth.  The events or circumstances that have had a negative impact on my life do not define me.  They may have helped to mold and shape me, but they are not who I am.  I can choose which things to take with me and which ones to leave behind.  

The journey is not always easy, but I know in my heart that all will work out as it should.  My tears cleanse my soul and ready me for another day.  When all these things are being thrown at me, I must choose what to catch, what to let go, what to dodge, and what to throw back.  

I will work through the turmoil.  I will find peace in my soul.  It's just the getting through it that's the hard part.  
For those of you that are in my life right now, thank you.  Some of you I lean on, some of you put a smile in my heart, some of you are great teachers, all of you I will keep forever.   Thank you for reading this post today.  In that way, you have listened to me.  I have been heard.


~ Namaste ~