Living in Love

Everyone wants to be In Love.  We feel that when our relationships don't work out, we may never find love again.  We are undeserving or afraid of the next relationship.  I think you should know that we don't have to be "in love"  because we live in Love.  Love surrounds us everyday.  You just have to open your heart to see it.  I have thought about this a lot lately and Love has shown itself to me tenfold.

When my husband and I first separated almost two years ago, I had absolutely no interest in dating anyone.  My focus was solely on healing myself and my children.  Eventually, I began to date and thus far unsuccessfully.  People have too many issues or a misconception of love.  Love is just love and nothing else.  It is not jealousy, insecurity, or fear.  It is not forceful or deceitful.  It is gentle and nurturing and honest.

Love does not just come from your partner.  I know you are aware of this and are probably thinking to yourself "no shit, April".  But I implore you to think on this.  Some of us walk around in a cloud of despair because we feel we are unloved.  I'll share with you some of the love I have seen, felt and witnessed.

One of my absolute favorite notions of love is bath time with my kids.  Every night, I sit on the side of the bathtub to ready the water.  I make sure it is the right temperature and then I place the stopper in the bath.  All the while my two little ones are getting ready for their bath and talking, usually nonstop.  Sometimes they are arguing with each other, or myself.  There are times they are singing or making each other giggle.  The moment that strikes me though is when they step into the bathtub.  As I still sit on the side of the tub and each one gets in, they place there tiny hand on my shoulder to steady themselves as they step over the side.  During this one beautiful moment, there are no words between us.  Sometimes, I reach up and place my hand over theirs.  They probably have no idea how much this gesture moves me, but it does. Every time.  No matter what thoughts may be bouncing around my tired brain or how loud they are being, that one moment is priceless to me.  Love, love, love.

I see love between them too.  They may fight like cats and dogs, but if one gets in trouble, the other is right there to soothe.  It's amazing to see the bond between my children.  My oldest is 15 and mothers them as much as plays with them.

My children give me so much love.  We literally live "in love".  It is all around us.  Of course there are angry moments and misbehaving, but we love each other all the while.

I have witnessed love from my friends that have called or texted me for no reason other than to say I love you and I miss you.  I have witnessed love from the phone call from family members just to check in and say hello.  I have seen love in the elderly couple that walks together still holding hands.  I have heard love in my daughter's beautiful voice.

We live in love everyday.  It is all around us and in us and through us.  Don't misjudge love or expect too much of it, for it is subtle and kind.  Open your heart, open your eyes and receive.  I choose to receive Love and give Love and live Love and breathe Love.  You are Love and Love is you.  You can portray love in everything you do.  You can be love.  What do you choose?

~Namaste~